A little Jewish humor

June 8, 2006 at 7:38 pm (Jokes)

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?
The Jewish mother replies, “I don’t like her.”
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There’s a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
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Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
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Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
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When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, “So did my arthritis.”
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A man calls his mother in Florida . “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good”, says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son says, “Why are you so weak?”
She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The man says, “That’s terrible! Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”
The mother answers, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.”
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A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother
he’s been given a part in the school play.
“Wonderful! What part is it?” replies his mother.
The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.”
The mother scowls “That’s terrible. Go back and tell the teacher that you want a speaking part.”
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Q – How does a Jewish mother change a light bulb?
A -(Sigh) Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark, I don’t want I should bother anybody.
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Q – Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish
mother on the street and said, “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days.”
A – “Force yourself” she replied.
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Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish
Mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
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1st Ave Machine – Sixes Last

May 17, 2006 at 8:59 pm (Animation)

ali.jpg

Music Video 2005
via [1st-Ave-Machine]

music [Alias]

1st Ave Machine USA Inc. is an NYC based CGI VFX/Animation Studio and Production Company working in the advertising, broadcast, music video and feature film industries.

1st Ave Machine creates high end design work by employing 3D in ways that blur the line between what we perceive as real and impossible.

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Disney Toon Clones

April 27, 2006 at 8:36 am (Animation, Celebrity)


Disney is well known for only drawing four fingers per hand and saving millions, but also reuses whole scenes as shown in these two different feature length films.
via [prodisney]

Plus…
Mickey Mouse’s attempted suicides.
via [Barnacle Press]

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Now playing: Classic Disney Volume 1 – Minnies Yoo Hoo
via FoxyTunes

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The Italian Tomato Garden

April 25, 2006 at 8:40 am (Jokes)

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. It was Spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the aging man as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was currently in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man’s house and dug up the entire area. However, they didn’t find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie

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Virgo Paraiso

April 20, 2006 at 6:54 am (Contemporary Art)


One really outstanding artist from gaylab is Virgo Paraiso. The site has water sounds that take you some place else which is his fantasy art which I am partial to.

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Now playing: Crystal Waters – Gypsy Woman (white label mix) 127BPM
via FoxyTunes

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Chicago Unicorn Spire

April 7, 2006 at 8:36 pm (Uncategorized)

I am excited about this upcoming Chicago landmark which will have residential apartments in it and look like a Unicorn horn smack dab in the middle of the skyline expanse. Who knows we might even get pushed up a notch on the list of 15 best skylines in the world

A towering work of architectural genius. The world is watching as we create Fordham Spire– Chicago’s first major skyline statement of the 21st century. Designed by the world-renowned Santiago Calatrava in his inimitable and poetic style, this 115-story building will bring a new level of luxury and prestige to a city which has long been known as the birthplace of the skyscraper.

Outside, this modern masterpiece captivates the eye with its serene, mysterious crystaline presence. Inside, it indulges the senses with a five-star array or opulent amenities–as well as Chicago’s most exquisitely crafted and lavishly appointed residences, each of them one of a kind.

I wonder if Oprah will do an upgrade and move out of the Watertower Place above the Ritz Carlton, but I doubt it. VIA [Towleroad] which is based in New York.

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I’m the only gay in the village

April 7, 2006 at 8:29 pm (Uncategorized)

Little Britain is taking the UK and the world by storm and can easily be compared to Monty Python because of its short burlesque-style skits.
Here is what the Wikipedia says…

Little Britain is a BBC radio and television sketch show written by and starring Matt Lucas and David Walliams. Its title is an amalgamation of the terms ‘Little England’ and ‘Great Britain’. It made its debut on BBC Radio 4 in 2001, running for two short series of five and four half-hour episodes, respectively.

In 2003, the show transferred to television, with an eight-episode series on the BBC’s digital-only channel BBC Three. Most of the TV material was adapted from the radio version, but some new sketches featured recurring characters. Due to its success, the first television series was repeated on the mainstream channel BBC Two. Although reactions to it were mixed, many critics were enthusiastic, and the show was commissioned for another series.

See this hilarious flash parody of Daffyd (I’m the only gay in the village) Thomas. Made by Phillip Crammond who made Dame Ednas Website.

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Hodge-podge

April 7, 2006 at 8:27 pm (Uncategorized)

Cute parrot story about a two year old African Gray that screams like a girl from the San Francisco Gate.
Have you noticed your VOIP connection getting crappy lately, My boy-friend was right about it being the cable companies fault and here is the proof.
Former head of Star Wars program says Cheney main 9/11 suspect.
I remember on the Anna Nicole show, her going to this penis puppet show and wishing she could of revealed more, well Malcontent copied some of the highlights for me from HBO last night and I was thrilled to be a “Puppetry of the Penis” virgin no more.
I’ve found over the years that the dumb ones are better at sex, probably cause they have less on their minds to get in the way of their performance… Hence the phrase “Big and dumb and full of cum”.
Richard Rothstein helps me put Katie Couric in perspective over her move to CBS.
Damn Interesting helps me understand that we won’t always have a Solar Eclipse in “The Final Eclipse”
Planet SERPO’s website was only down for server move. See my archived post on this here.
Renewed interest in Noah’s Ark here.
A dutchman actually builds his own.
The best celebrity camparison yet of the guy from “Next top model” Jay Manuel and The Little Mermaid’s Ursula the Sea Witch.

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Happy April Fools day

April 1, 2006 at 4:07 pm (Uncategorized)

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Happy Paddy Day

March 17, 2006 at 2:56 pm (Uncategorized)

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Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”

The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”

The first guy says, “Faith & it’s a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.”

The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1964.”

The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight! Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.”

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

Wiki says…

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